The Burger of Doom

Well, we all knew it would happen eventually...

Burger King is coming to Vietnam. The first location will be on Le Loi street sometimes toward the end of May. I never went to Burger King in the States very much; now, like Samuel L. Jackson, I find myself basically a vegetarian, but I do love the taste of a good burger.

This is apparently in a move to counter Mcdonald's, which is opening it's first location in Hanoi around the same time. It could start a new war...

Well, ultimately I suppose this isn't really any worse than the proliferation of Lotteria and KFC, but there's something about the two ultimate American burger chains moving in that has a this-is-the-end feel to it...soon even the chain stores in Vietnam will look the same as everywhere else.

Ironically, the BK is opening not far from I Love Burger, a local place which strives to create a 1950s American hamburger-joint atmosphere, and may ultimately be run out of business by the real thing.

Update: I found out why this was so long in coming. Until recently, Vietnam had a series of protectionist measures in place which mandated that all international chains had to use Vietnamese produce. Apparently the quality of beef and potatoes here is too low even for a fast-food-chain, and so they stayed away. Now that VN has joined the WTO such restrictions have been lifted, and Burger King will use beef from Aussie and potatoes from Singapore.

Take A Seat (Not Safe for Work)

As noted previously, the Vietnamese authorities are notably squeamish about what they allow people to see in terms of sex and violence.

Also, the Vietnamese haven't really cottoned onto 'malls' yet. Oh sure, there are department stores (always 'plazas') like Diamond and Parkson, but in terms of a mall - that is, a large space with numerous discrete shops in it - there are only one or two.

One of these is Saigon Center, on the corner of Le Loi and Pasteur. The ground floor is cafes, the second floor used to a combination of things, and the third floor is furniture and utensils. Anyway, I was wondering around there the other day when I stumbled upon this (do not scroll down if you happen to be at work right now):
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Not only is this way over the top for a country which won't allow women in bras in to appear on TV, but as a concept it just seems kind of....odd. Yes, come in, take a seat. Haven't you always wondered what it would be like to sit inside someone's ass? Well, wonder no more.

I guess it is a talking point...

April is the Cruelest Month

When I first arrived in Vietnam the heat was the most overwhelming feature. It was hard to focus on absorbing the city, the culture etc. because so much of my time was taken up with keeping cool and hydrated. I spent the first month or two dashing from one air-conditioned haven to another, meanwhile gulping down gallons of water from the coolers all schools offer in the teacher's lounges.

That, however, was the rainy season, which supposedly lasts from June to November. Over time I got used to the heat and it gradually got cooler as we moved into winter. Now, however, comes the harsh two-month stretch of April and May, when the weather is hot and there is no rain to temper it.

Actually this was proven wrong (at least for a day) by the rainstorm this afternoon, which made the atmosphere quite pleasant and opened up what possibilities this city could have if it was 20 degrees cooler and not so humid.

Cheaters Sometimes Prosper

While reviewing exams for my English 5 class I noticed that one student's writing sample seemed oddly familiar. it was written at a level far above the rest of the class, for one thing. The topic was 'A Nightmare Journey' and it described a trip from Dresden to Mallorca(!) Something was clearly fishy. So, i looked through the textbook and found the exact same writing sample in a chapter we had read some weeks back. Not to mention, the offending student had left behind a handwritten copy of the very same 'nightmare Journey' on his desk.

Brimming with teacherly indignation I marched over to the Academic Administration office and informed Ms. Uyen what had happened. She scowled at me and I immediately realized I had done something I shouldn't have.

"Where," she said "is your PROOF?" I produced the note, the exam, and the textbook. She glanced over them before turning back to me. "This doesn't mean anything. Maybe he just memorized it. It happens alot, what can you do? We can't punish him for something everyone does". She shrugged "But if you really want...take away a few points for lack of creativity". She waved a hand and the meeting was over.

Capitalism is here for good.

Rated V

It's always a little difficult to tell exactly what is and isn't done on Vietnamese TV. Obviously extreme sex and violence are out, but it's not clear where the line is.

My first encounter with this came when 'Fargo' was on TV and they cut out the scene with the two kidnappers and the two prostitutes in the hotel. It's not very graphic but it is noisy, so I could see why a prudish government would cut it out.

I was stuck in a hotel room last weekend and 'Irma la Douce' came on TV. There's one scene (or possibly several) with Shirley McLaine standing around in her bra, but you can't see it because they've blurred everything below her neck. Of course, when they show the beach they don't hide the women in their bikinis, so I guess there's a distinction between underwear and beach wear.

I wonder how you get a job as a censor...