Four Inane Statements

1. Yom Kippur is a solemn time to express thanksgiving that the Almighty remembers the names of all His children...On Yom Kippur and throughout the year, your deep commitment to faith helps make the world a more hopeful and peaceful place.

- President Bush, extending his Yom Kippur greetings to the Jewish community.

What? Yom Kippur is for 'thanksgiving'? I don't remember that from Hebrew school. But it's nice to know Bush approves of apologizing to people.

2. Remember Fruit of the Loom? They used to dance - I don't know who you get could to dance as white grapes or red grapes or whatever - used to dance on TV, and now they've danced right out of this country.

- Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) making a point about outsourcing on 'The Colbert Report'.

3. A random round can be an attack and all the way up to killing 50 people someplace. So you’ve got a whole fruit bowl of different things — a banana and an apple and an orange.

- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

The Ireaqi insurgency is like a fruit bowl. Now I understand.

4. Maf54: do you really do it face down
Teen: ya
Maf54: kneeling
Teen: well i dont use my hand...i use the bed itself
Maf54: where do you unload it
Teen: towel
Maf54: really
Maf54: completely naked?
Teen: well ya
Maf54: very nice
Teen: lol
Maf54: cute butt bouncing in the air

- Rep. Mark Foley discussing masturbation with a page.

Whoah, hold on. If Rep. Foley were a responsible member of Congress, he'd point out that this form of masturbation (rubbing against an object) is not only strange but unhealthy. I guess he just doesn't care about the children.

Although, according to Fox News, he's a Democrat.