The Gondoliers on Equality

Sorry for the long hiatus; a somewhat hectic life combined with spotty internet service have conspired to keep this blog un-updated.

Honestly, what's happening in the news right now doesn't move me to write anything interesting or original. Instead, there's an old Gilbert & Sullivan tune which has always stuck with me. Before it is sung, two brothers have discovered that one of them is the king of Barataria. Although confirmed Italian republicans, a kingship is too good to pass up. So, they declare a 'republican monarchy' in which everybody is equal - even the king! The Grand Inquisitor informs them through song that this will never work:

DON ALHAMBRA.

There lived a King, as I've been told,
In the wonder-working days of old,
When hearts were twice as good as gold,
And twenty times as mellow.
Good-temper triumphed in his face,
And in his heart he found a place
For all the erring human race
And every wretched fellow.
When he had Rhenish wine to drink
It made him very sad to think
That some, at junket or at jink,
Must be content with toddy.

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

With toddy, must be content with toddy.

DON ALHAMBRA.

He wished all men as rich as he
(And he was rich as rich could be),
So to the top of every tree
Promoted everybody.

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

Now, that's the kind of King for me.
He wished all men as rich as he,
So to the top of every tree
Promoted everybody!

DON ALHAMBRA.

Lord Chancellors were cheap as sprats,
And Bishops in their shovel hats
Were plentiful as tabby cats--
In point of fact, too many.
Ambassadors cropped up like hay,
Prime Ministers and such as they
Grew like asparagus in May,
And Dukes were three a penny.
On every side Field-Marshals gleamed,
Small beer were Lords-Lieutenant deemed,
With Admirals the ocean teemed
All round his wide dominions.

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

All round his wide dominions.

DON ALHAMBRA.

And Party Leaders you might meet
In twos and threes in every street
Maintaining, with no little heat,
Their various opinions.

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

Now that's a sight you couldn't beat--
Two Party Leaders in each street
Maintaining, with no little heat,
Their various opinions.

DON ALHAMBRA.

That King, although no one denies
His heart was of abnormal size,
Yet he'd have acted otherwise
If he had been acuter.
The end is easily foretold,
When every blessed thing you hold
Is made of silver, or of gold,
You long for simple pewter.
When you have nothing else to wear
But cloth of gold and satins rare,
For cloth of gold you cease to care--
Up goes the price of shoddy.

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

Up goes the price of shoddy.

DON ALHAMBRA.

In short, whoever you may be,
To this conclusion you'll agree,
When every one is somebody,
Then no one's anybody!

MARCOS. and GIUSEPPE.

Now that's as plain as plain can be,
To this conclusion we agree--

ALL

When every one is somebody,
Then no one's anybody!

Philosophically, it's curious how Gilbert (getting more conservative as he aged; viz. the surprisingly radical treatment of the House of Lords in the earlier [i]Iolanthe[/i]) had a view of democracy in which nobody ruled over anyone and wealth was meaningless. It sounds almost like a utopian view of socialism, and if it could work it doesn't sound bad at all. Gilbert's problem was not that democracy wouldn't 'work' in the sense that [i]somebody[/i] has to rule over other people if society is going to keep running; his argument was entirely romantic. But, in the end Barataria gets a proper autocratic king, and all is well.