Ask the Ayatollah

His Hounarable Eminence Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Husaini Sistani is the spiritual leader of many Iraqi Shia, an Islamic scholar, one of the major forces behind the US eventually allowing elections (as opposed to the caucuses originally planned), and, according to his official web site sistani.org "He is known for his intelligence and plentiful researching activities in biographies."

Also available on his web site is an invaluable Q&A section, in which Sistani answers questions sent in by muslims who are unsure of the proper way to act.

Some of these questions are straightforward:

Q: Can she take medicines, which would help her in conceiving?

A: It is permissible if the doctor [makes the proper] diagnoses.

Some are bizzare:

Q: What is your ruling about cat's hair on a person's dress during salat?

A: Cat's hair does not invalidate prayer.

And some suffer from a bad translation:

Q: Is it allowed to eat at a restaurant its staff are of different religions?

A: It is permissible as long as you do not know a non-Kitabi Kafar touches it with an epidemic wet.

Shockingly enough, the Ayatollah allows birth control:

Q: Some women wish to avoid pregnancy, but their husbands want (them to get pregnant). How do they prevent the onset of pregnancy? By using pills, injections or the cleansing of the vagina after intercourse?

A: All of these are permissible if they do not entail substantial harm to her.

Abortion in certain cases:

Q: My wife seems to be one or two weeks pregnant and we already have four children. We don't want any more children. Under what circumstances is an abortion allowed?

A: Having abortion after the embryo gains life is not permissible under any circumstances. Abortion before the embryo gains life is not permissible except for when mother’s health is at risk or when it leads to an insufferable sickness for her; if so, there would be no objection in having abortion. However, he who is directly involved in the abortion surgery (i.e. a surgeon) must pay diyah (blood money) to the parents and they can forgive.

Apparently Muslims can eat shrimp(!):

Question: I want to know which sea animals are halal and which ones are not?

Answer: Of all sea animals only those are halal that have scales, the rest are haram except for the shrimp which is halal too.

And even get tattooes and engage in sodomy. But not, (God forbid) the wickedness of chess or 'black gammon':

Q: Is playing chess and black gammon, without betting, permissible?

A: It is not permissible to play both... because [they are] a means for debauchery.

I know it's not quite right to mock other people's religious beliefs, especially when Sistani is not as medieval in his attitudes as certain well-known religious leaders in America. And while the Ayatollah can be evasive sometimes, let's, uh, pray that he continues to be a positive force for Iraqi democracy.