Malapascua

Malapascua is a small island to the north of Cebu. I'd have bet a thousand pesos that 'mala pascua' meant 'bad Easter', but apparently the Visayans have decided that 'pascua' should mean Christmas, even though it means Easter in Spanish. The name comes from the Spanish sailors who arrived on the island one stormy Christmas night sometime in the 1500s.

Nowadays, Malapascua is a developing resort island, with a fair number of beachside hotels but still mostly rural. The beach is nice enough:


And you can go snorkeling:


There are some rather beautiful corals on the ocean floor and supposedly some manta rays and plankton-eating sharks, but I didn't see them.

For some reason, there are throngs of Germans and Austrians everywhere - to the point where the local guides are as likely to speak German as English.

Hello, Joe!

So whenever I'm walking down the street and I pass a group of children, they almost always wave at me and say 'Hey Joe!" Is that like GI Joe? Kind of strange...

Credo in Unum Deum

Filipinos love to get religious. And few places are churchier than the Basilica del Santo Nino in downtown Cebu:

Apparently it's the only basilica in Asia. What's the difference between a cathedral and a basilica, you ask? Moving on...



Santo Nino literally means 'holy child', and it's a reference to the baby Jesus, which is the patron saint of the Philippines. Now, I may not be an expert in Catholic theology, but it seems to me that Jesus would be the Messiah, not a saint, even if he is a baby. I suppose someone could be both a saint and the Messiah, but that just seems like overkill.

Still, it's a nice building:




And right behind it is a small hut containing a replica of Magellan's Cross, commemorating the place where Magellan landed in what is now Cebu City almost five hundred years ago (before being killed by the natives).


So, if you can dodge the water-sellers, icon-vendors, and nuns demanding alms, it's all very pleasant.

You're So Vain

Is every single public restroom in this country full of Filipino guys fixing their hair?

I guess it makes sense, given the climate of the city. You can leave your house clean and fresh, but five minutes in the heat and you'll become a sweaty, rumpled, red-faced mess - or, at least, I do. The locals bear up a bit better, because they're used to it. Still, good grooming is clearly a high priority around here.

And while we're talking about bathrooms, why is every public toilet in Cebu missing the lid of the seat? Are people stealing them for sale on the black market? Are people fighting with these toilets? I can deal with the lack of toilet paper - Vietnam prepared me for that - but not having a lid is going too far.

Half-Jeep, Half-Van, All Awesome

Cebu City has a problem common to many semi-tropical poverty-stricken cities: how to get around. In Cebu the government doesn't even want to spend the money on a bus system, much less a subway line, and it's too hot to walk anywhere. In Vietnam they have motorbikes. In Bangkok they built an elevated train system.

But the solution (at least in the Philippines) is jeepneys: converted half-jeep half-van contraptions which run along set routes (usually written on the side) Only seven pesos if the guy hanging precariously out the back is able to give you your change and not fall to his death at the same time.

Advantages: They're cheap and relatively reliable. They're also colorful, often painted with bright pop-culture themes. They'll also let you off pretty much wherever you want.

Disadvantages: they're rattly, bumpy, slow, and full of smog. Supposedly it's quite easy to get pickpoocketed in one, but so far that hasn't happened to me.