Why Are Jews So Funny?

By the question, I don't mean to ask why so many Jews have become comedians, or why humor is important to Jewish life as a defense mechanism against millenia of oppression blah blah blah.

Rather, I should like to know why the mere presence of a Jewish character, or any reference to Judaism at all, is a cause for merriment. is it the Yiddish? Our enormous noses? The way we manipulate the media and entertainment industries to make us look harmless?

Think of a movie - almost any movie will do - and make the characters Jewish. Are you chuckling already? the laziest comic hack do it; i.e. 'Rocky' (Oy! Adrian!), 'The Godfather' (Make him an offer he can't refuse - half-price tickets to Florida) or 'Dirty Harry' (So go ahead and make my day, already).

My rabbi confessed ignorance of this matter herself, although she did not "Borat was funny, especially in his comically exaggerated prejudice against Jews. But would it have been as good if he had an irrational fear of Hindus or Buddhists or something? No, because Hindus and Buddhists aren't funny and Jews are, though I couldn't tell you why."

I remember in the long ago days of 'The Critic', starring Jon Lovitz, there was a fake promo for a movie starring Arnold Schwarzaneggar going undercover as a rabbi:

Mugger: [holding a gun] Eat lead, Rabbi.
Arnold: [pulls out a bigger gun] Sorry, that's not kosher.

Or, even more so, I remember some crappy sitcom in which the boss is wishing the office a Merry Christmas:

Boss: Merry Christmas, everyone! Oh, and happy Hanukkah to you, Persky.
Persky: Thank you, sir. [audience laughs]

Ha ha! That guy, he's a Jew! Instant comedy.

I recognize this is not an issue of great social import, but I am curious.

Surge This

While this has been much reported on elsewhere, I feel compelled to throw in my two cents on why Bush's 'surge' plan is a bad idea.

1. It does nothing to deal with the sectarian animosities among the various Iraqi militias.

2. It's been tried twice already, and produced no noticeable results.

3. It's focused entirely on Baghdad, doing nothing for the rest of the country.

4. Everyone - from the military brass to the American public to the Iraqi government to the Iraqi public - disapproves.

5. It sends the signal that the US is willing to stay in Iraq indefinitely.

6. It's weakened morale among American soldiers by extending their tours of duty.

7. If the insurgents we're targeting have any brains, they'll lie low for a little while, wait for the Americans to declare that the strategy is working, and come back in full force.

8. At heart, it's not a political solution - a change in tactics, not a change in strategy.

Have I forgotten anything?

Years ago, when I was young and full of niavete about our political system, the late Cheif Justice William Rehnquist was one of my favorite public figures.

Was this because of the depth of his legal scholarship? My respect for his tough-but-honest conservative judicial philosophy? Not at all. It was because Justice Rehnquist worse gold stripes on the sleeves of his robes, in homage to the character of the Lord High Chancellor from Iolanthe by Gilbert and Sullivan.

Now it seems the old fellow was not just endearingly eccentric, but often rather dangerously out of his mind:

Via the Washingotn Post

FBI files detail Rehnquist drug addiction

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The late U.S. Chief Justice William Rehnquist was dependent on a powerful sedative during his first decade on the Supreme Court and became delusional when he stopped taking the drug in 1981, The Washington Post reported on Friday, citing newly released FBI files.

The fact that Rehnquist checked into a hospital for a week in late December 1981 to be treated for back pain and dependence on a prescription drug was previously known, the Post said.

The Post reported that the FBI concluded during its 1986 investigation that Rehnquist began taking the drug Placidyl for insomnia after back surgery in 1971 and was, by 1981, taking apparently three times the usual starting dose each night.

Doctors interviewed by the FBI told agents that when Rehnquist stopped taking the drug, he suffered paranoid delusions, including imagining "a CIA plot against him," the newspaper reported.

The FBI files also show that during both of Rehnquist's confirmation battles, the Justice Department asked the FBI to find out what witnesses lined up by Senate Democrats were prepared to say, the newspaper reported.

Then-assistant attorney general John Bolton, who recently stepped down as ambassador to the United Nations, approved enlisting the FBI and wrote that he "would accept responsibility should concerns be raised about the role of the FBI," the newspaper said.

Bolton told The Washington Post that there was no political bias in the investigation, because the request for the FBI to interview witnesses actually came from Senate Democrats.

I guess old Rehnny was alot more out there than his critics gave him credit for. Richard Nixon, however, knew something was up from the moment he met Rehnquist, who was at the time wearing a pink shirt and psychadelic tie, causing Nixon to label him a 'hippie'. Groovy.

Next Time, Christmas, Next Time!

The faces of our comrades in the trenches look drawn and bleak. There is general grumbling and finger-pointing, while the most optimistic among us can only manage to keep silent.

I'm sorry to say it yet again, but this year's War On Christmas has been a failure. All of our efforts to remove public Nativity scenes, have retailers tell people 'Happy Holidays', and rechristen (if you'll pardon the expression) large, decorated pines as 'Holiday Trees' have been for nought, or almost nought. For some reason, most Americans managed to remember that December 25 was the usual day for celebrating the birth of someone considered by Christians to be the Messiah.

I suppose we more than met our match in the greatest defenders of the Christian religion since Thomas More: John Gibson and Bill O'Reilly. Their tireless resolve in the face of our withering assault on Christmas's tackiest, most essential elements was truly Christ-like in its ability to absorb suffering without complaint.

Well, there's always next year...

Chile is Free At Last

in 1973, democratically-elected president Salvador Allende was nationalizing certain key parts of his country's economy, in accordance with mainstream economic opinon at the time as practiced by most Western European countries. The copper companies, however, were afeared of their interests and implored the Nixon administration to do something about it. Henry Kissinger, who once said that Chile was 'A dagger pointed at the heart of Antarctica' (that is, at nothing), now said that Chile could become 'an example for a successful and democratic socialist country' and therefor had to be stopped. The Nixon Administration responded by spending hundreds of millions of dollars to sabotage the Chilean economy and the installing a military junta.

The junta was led by General Auguste Pinochet, who died this week. During his rule he orchestrated the 'disappearance' of thousands of Chileans and dozens of Americans, Spanish, and other nationals who he deemed inconveient, while torturing thousands more, including the current Chilean president.

After his 'retirement' at the age of 75 (though he remained commander-in-chief for years afterward) Pinochet was arrested and brought to trial by Spanish authorities for having murdered their citizens. His opponents demanded the release of the CIA files about Pinochet. To counter that, a right-wing State Department official demanded that they release ALL the files, including the ones on Allende. What they revealed was a total lack of totalitarian ambition on Allende's part, who apparently viewed advocates of Cuban-style communism at least as big a threat as the right-wing militants who eventually killed him.

Well, anyway, Pinochet is dead. It's a shame he never had to face justice.